


Seen Every Movie, Read Every Book

by DylanOhbrien



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Derek and Scott are Brothers, F/M, First Date, Gen, M/M, Stallison Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-23
Updated: 2014-03-23
Packaged: 2018-01-16 16:04:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1353448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DylanOhbrien/pseuds/DylanOhbrien
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles is an expert on dates, figuratively speaking. He's seen all the movies, read all the books, and in some cases, weird explicit fanfiction. So, yeah, date expert. Except the thing is, Stiles has never <em>actually</em> been on a date in all his seventeen years of life.</p><p>So, naturally, when Derek asks Stiles out, he's lost (and Allison Argent may be his salvation).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Seen Every Movie, Read Every Book

**Author's Note:**

> Originally part of a series I deleted. This is the only fic I saved, and you don't need the others to understand this one.

Dates. Stiles is an expert on dates, figuratively speaking. He's seen all the movies, read all the books, and in some cases, weird explicit fanfiction. So, yeah, date expert. Except the thing is, Stiles has never _actually_ been on a date in all his seventeen years of life. So when Derek asks him if he wants to go to a movie—just the two of them!—Stiles manages to go all red in the face and blurt out, "Like a date?"

Derek, thank all the gods for that boy, only laughs and nods his head. Then Stiles actually manages to nod frantically and Derek smiles and kisses his cheek and h _oly fucking shit_.

So, now, here Stiles is: A date expert with no experience, and about to actually go _on_ a date with the hottest human in Beacon Hills. And fuck he has no idea what he's supposed to do, because sure, Stiles' tongue had been in Derek's mouth already, and that stubble burn on Stiles' neck was Derek's doing, but this was a date. All that useless shit he's learned from television is just thrown out the window and he's just _lost_.

So, naturally, he goes to the only person he can trust on this matter: Allison.

Initially, he had thought about Scott, but Scott's brain is totally useless in matters containing Allison, and also since Derek is Scott's brother, Stiles had a feeling Scott didn't want to hear about them going on dates and kissing and things of that nature. Next on his list had been Lydia, but Lydia is a terror when it comes to this sort of thing, and Stiles is a little bit afraid of her, helpful or otherwise. Actually, so was Erica so that was another person crossed off the list. He'd even thought about asking his own father. That lasted for about five whole seconds until Stiles realized the slightly significant age gap between he and Derek, and the fact that his father was a cop (he doesn't stop to consider Isaac or Boyd because, well, they were Isaac and Boyd).

So, Allison it is then. And the more Stiles actually thinks about it, the more he realizes she would've been the best option out of everyone anyway. She's helpful, really nice, and patient.

So that's how he finds himself sitting in her bedroom, nervously tapping at his thigh with his finger. Her room is so clean and nice and purple, and Stiles may or may not be just a little uncomfortable. Because while he likes Allison well enough, and he's managed to hold an actual honest-to-God conversations with her, Scott had pretty much been a permanent fixture in their lives, and he served as the median between the two.

"Hey, sorry, I had to help my dad with some boxes in the garage." Allison explains as she makes her way into the room and sits on the bed. She looks at him expectantly. "So, what did you want to talk about? You sounded a little anxious over the phone."

"Ah, well, see the thing is," Stiles rubs the back of his neck with his hand and lets out a nervous laugh. "Derek asked me out on a date."

Allison's eyebrows shoot up. "I knew you liked him,"— _Dammit_ Scott!—"I just didn't know he was interested in you too."

Stiles snorts. "Yeah, I didn't either, until last week." The _when he was kissing me hard against a couch_ goes unsaid.

"So then what exactly is the issue?" Allison asks, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

"The issue is I've never actually been on a date before." Stiles confesses. "Hell, before last week I hadn't even had my first kiss."

Suddenly Allison's face light up, and she understand. "Oh! I see."

"So," Stiles coughs. "Allison Argent will you please help me in my desperate time of need. Because if this date goes bad I'm probably going to be a virgin until I die, and then someone will make a a really shitty romcom out of it. I don't want to be a shitty romcom, Allison."

Allison giggles, but nods, and Stiles lets out a breath he didn't know he had been holding in. Step one, complete.

She pats the bed next to her and Stiles scrambles to sit next to her, ready to soak up all the dating knowledge she has. When she opens her mouth to speak, Stiles blurts out, "So, like, should I be taking notes or something? I feel like I should be taking notes."

"You don't need to be taking notes, Stiles." Allison snorts, and pats his shoulder affectionately. Stiles pouts, but quiets down to listen. "Okay, so the basics of dating. First of all, the most important thing is to have fun. Don't get too worked up or nervous, because that's a sure fire way to ruin a date and make things awkward. Scott and I went to places where we could talk for our first few dates, so we could get to know each other. Bowling, the movies, dinner, walks in the park." Allison explains, Stiles nodding and keeping along as she speaks. "Although I assume you and Derek are already well acquainted, it still wouldn't hurt to get comfortable with talking to him in a romantic situation or environment."

"That's actually a great idea." Stiles blinks.

Allison smiles widely and teases, "Thank you. Also remember, small talk is your friend. Small talk can lead into deeper, more intimate conversations. Or, you could, you know, just make out. That also works."

"Oh my God." Stiles chokes on his own spit.

"The second part, your physical appearance." Allison says slowly, and Stiles nods.

"Can't really do anything about this trainwreck, though." He says, looking down at himself.

Allison scoffs. "You're very handsome, Stiles. Stop putting yourself down. But what I meant was that you need to dress up. I don't mean suit and tie sort of stuff, but dress nice. A button up shirt, some slacks, cologne. You know, that works."

"Dress snazzy. Got it." Stiles says, making a mental note to wash his light blue button up before the date. And maybe borrow a bit of his father's cologne.

"When is your date, anyway?" Allison asks with a small smile.

"Ah, tomorrow." Sties answers with a nervous laugh. "Derek said we were going out for a movie and maybe some dinner and whatever else I wanted to do."

Allison face morphs into what Stiles can only call adorable, and she let out a soft "aw". Stiles grins sheepishly and looks away.

"Well, let's go over to your place and I can help you pick out an outfit!" Allison says excitedly, grabbing Stiles hand and squeezing it. "Although this is more Lydia's department than mine."

"Please don't get Lydia involved. She'll make me try on so much clothes, and then she won't be satisfied with what I own so she'll make me go _shopping_." Stiles whispers and Allison only laughs and nods.

"Okay, then your secret's safe with me. Come on, let's go!"

* * *

So, it turns out Allison is only slightly better company than Lydia when it comes to picking out clothes for someone else. She makes his try on at least seven different outfits before deciding on the shirt Stiles had initially been considering wearing for the date. Finding a pair of pants is an absolute disaster, and Stiles doesn't even want to think about how finding a decent pair of _shoes_ went. At least she was patient and kind—well, kinder than Lydia would have been. Not to mention she didn't force Stiles to go to the local mall to actually buy something.

Eventually, Allison is satisfied with her work, and when Stiles looks in the mirror, he almost feels decent.

"So, wash the clothes, iron them, and don't forgot about the cologne. Not too much though, you don't want to overcrowd Derek's senses." Allison says, fiddling with the color on Stiles' shirt. "Teeth are to be brushed thoroughly, and bring a mint or two just in case you aren't confident about, you know, making out."

Stiles snorts. "Yes ma'am."

Allison sighs and pats Stiles chest. "Well, I've done all I can. Mr. Stilinski, it is time to send you off into the unknown land that is dating. I hope you will make in into Derek's pants safely."

Stiles' mouth falls open, and Allison lets out a loud laugh. "Allison, oh my God!"

* * *

An hour after Allison leaves, Stiles gets to work on her instructions. He's putting the clothes in the washing machine—and he's using that fancy smelling detergent his father bought—when Scott comes knocking on the door. As soon as Stiles opens and he sees the dejected look on his best friend's face, he frowns in worry. "Is everything okay, Scottie?"

Scott pushes through the door and makes a beeline for the living room, crashing onto the couch and letting out a moan. Stiles isn't sure if it's from pain or not. He sits down next to Scott, staring at the other boy curiously.

"So, you gonna tell me what's wrong?"

Scott turns to look at him and pouts. "I didn't get to see Allison today. I went over to her house earlier and her parents said she went over to a friend's house."

Stiles makes a face and Scott blinked, staring at him curiously. "What?"

"She was over here." Stiles says, a sheepish smile on his face.

Scott's brows furrow. "Why?"

See, the thing is, Stiles didn't exactly tell Scott he was going to go on a date with his older brother, and that he recruited Allison for assistance. "Well," he says slowly. "Allison was helping me pick out some clothes and giving me advice on dating. Since, your brother asked me out. Surprise!"

Scott's nose wrinkles. "Derek asked you out?"

"Don't act so surprised!" Stiles pouts. "I'll have you know I am very handsome."

Scott scoffs. "Wait. You asked Allison for help and not me?"

Oh, great, now Scott's pride is wounded. Stiles sighs. "Yes, I asked Allison for help. She's a great advice giver, you know. Really smart."

And that is all it takes because a goofy smile makes it's way onto Scott's face. "Yeah, she is."

"See, there you go. You'll see her tomorrow." Stiles says with a sigh.

Scott hums in agreement and then continues on to say, "I can't believe you stole my girlfriend."

"Whatever. We bonded." Stiles says with a wave of his hand. "She's my new best friend. Scott McCall who? Oh, you mean my sexy boyfriend's dorky younger brother. That Scott Mccall."

He takes a cushion to the face. Totally not cool Scott.

* * *

Stiles is careful to follow Allison's instructions to every minute detail while he gets ready. Shirt ironed— _not a crease in sight thank you very much_ —and buttoned up nicely, a small amount of cologne, some product in his hair, but not enough to make it hard and prickly, and his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He isn't exactly sure _why_ Allison advised him to do that last one, but she hasn't failed him.

Scott, who decided to spend the night, is watching his get ready with vague interest (actually no interest, but whatever).

"I don't know why you're trying so hard. It's just Derek." He says offhandedly, throwing a small ball into the air and catching it.

"You don't understand. That man is walking porn." Stiles says, as if it explains everything; and it sort of does.

"Ew. I'm leaving, and you're disgusting." Scott cringes, pushing himself off the bed. He makes his way over to the door while Stiles fiddles with his collar. "If you tell me how your date went, keep the recounting PG please."

Stiles gave him a thumbs up. "You got it, buddy. I'll give you every excruciating detail, then."

"I hate you."

"Love you too." Stiles says, waving as Scott makes his way through the door.

Half an hour later (When Stiles is still fiddling with his shirt because he got ready about two hours earlier than what would be considered normal. Oops.) he gets a text from Scott.

_allison's here_

_apparently derek asked her to help him get ready_

_**oh man that's so cute** _

_he looks so nervous dude wow_

_hey, don't break my brother's heart man_

Stiles laughs.

* * *

Derek comes to pick Stiles up in his Camaro (Stiles thanks all the gods that that car is a thing that exists). The moment Stiles lays his eyes on Derek's wardrobe, he recognises Allison's handiwork. She's truly a goddess among mortals, Stiles thinks. Then again, so is Derek, because _damn_.

"Stiles." Derek says with a stiff nod. His hands are balled into fists, and Stiles can tell he's nervous.

"Hey, Derek." Stiles replies, pulling Derek in for a deep, long kiss because, hey, Allison said to have fun. And Derek's mouth is super fun.

"Hey." Derek says softly with a small smile on his face.

Stiles totally has the best date ever, and he knows he owes it to Allison Argent.


End file.
